#he screams really terribly
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Commander Fox is done. Completely 🦊☕️
Finally I finished one of my elder WIPs 😂✨ And my dear folks, this post is also for a bit time in my drafts, too 🙈 The mood actually very fitting ☕️ *sigh* 😅 I figured that the Marshal Commander is really a special clone! I call him now the "WIP distraction Fox" 👀
He's always kind of lurking behind a corner in my mind, ready to jump in, spilling caf and doing this bone-freezing fox scream – only because he can and just give a sh*t! 🦊✨
And – the point is – he naturally only does this, when I really, REALLY want to finish a WIP and actually don't have time for him! But the vision of him and his caf and stress shenanigans tend to rampage my brain that chaotically in those situations, that I often kind of "Okay, great I'll do it" – like with this one 🤣 Completely crazy, but yeah, have a distraction Fox 🦊☕️♥️ Enjoy.
Some of you have already seen the timelapse of this piece, showing off my sketching process, the struggles and frustrations during drawing and concepting and else 😂🤷🏽♀️ Commander Fox is also the "WIP distraction with internal struggle dealing with caf and fun chaos"-Fox, so I cannot even properly complain! Sly Fox 🦊 Annoying Fox 🦊 Cute and stressed Fox 🦊 *Double sigh* okay, he's adorable and deserves a hug 🥰
I don’t even know anymore why Fox is THAT done with everything, but maybe he only needs a reason to shower in full armor, what actually let me think, if he finds the „rain“ noises on his armor relaxing 🥹🦊 Or maybe Thorn brought him cold caf after the information, that Coruscant is burning again and people's sighting of another Zillo beast or something like that 😱🤯
Taglist: @eclec-tech @lonewolflupe @bixlasagna @returnofthepineapple @sunshinesdaydream @covert1ntrovert @general-ida-raven @vrycurious @dystopicjumpsuit @chaicilatte @groguandthebadbatch @ladylucksrogue @spaceyjessa @morerandombullshit @freesia-writes
My Fox Fun Folks – get reFOXed 🦊: @ghostymarni @thora-sniper @feral-ferrule @nika6q @foxwithadarkside
#star wars#the clone wars#commander fox#commander caf#massively caffeinating#the distraction fox#coruscant guard#clones#what does the fox say#he screams really terribly#tcw#tcw fox#ct 1010#star wars fanart#artists on tumblr#my art#eobe
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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im forcing you all to look shady-car-salesman erik
[What If Magneto Had Formed The X-Men With Professor X?]
#snap chats#DUDE WHAT IS THAT. I SCREAMED#also before any of you go read this dont it's so nothing. the title LIED it's the most nothing story ive read so far#thankfully this is only a one shot but man. i shouldve listened in that This Is Isn't Worth It#this is literally the only time erik's in the whole thing too btw bar a prologue recapping what happens in the og timeline#im so deadass like he also shows up in some bg shots but thats literally it he says nothing else beyond this page#'what if magneto formed the xmen with charles' god yeah what if. i sure wouldve loved to read that.#'what if they formed the xmen' genuinely yeah how did they do that. can we see that PLEASE.#the only perceivable difference is that erik lives at the x mansion and Probably isnt terrorizing people. and has this god forsaken look#i rescind my statement he's terrorizing ME with that beard and. //gestures everywhere else//#he looks like he's going to try to scam me into buying a shitty ferrari i cant ill take the viking beard just not this#also i think gaby and erik are just. inexplicably married????? they never cover that ???? thats just a thing to vaguely acknowledge#they dont even say it there's a book that's credited as 'erik magnus lehnsherr' and 'gabrielle haller lensherr' like ok. what.#they dont even properly tell us why eriks here or like. how erik and charles find the xmen. or why gaby's here vjeALKJEK#LIKE COOL HI GABS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE she's a mutant now. forgot about that. ???????????????#the weird plot did distract me from. Whatever This Is but now im focusing on it again and im dying#i think what's really killing me is the earrings like oh my god. wow ok. wow...... terrible choice !#if i squint i can imagine the ponytail's gone from his side profile and it's a lil better but ...... jljalKjalJA#anyway i said id read every xmen comic and. regretting some choices but we ball#for now im gonna go wind down ... maybe doodle a bit who's to say ..
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in the midst of all this terrible news ryan murphy saw fit to grace us with a tiny sliver of shimmering light
thank you ryan murphy for feeding us this week
#idk if i could have made it through this week without that bucktommy breakup#i would like to send my condolences to the tevan endgame crowd#i have been laughing at the distraught posts for hours#you had a whole season to listen to us and accept the reality that he was always going to be a plot device#people giving up the whole show over the boring white man breaking up a relationship that had almost no screen time? couldn’t be me#i’ve been gone for months but i had to come back for this#i have a had a truly terrible few months and this really helped tysm ryan murphy you saved me#911#buddie#911 on abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie endgame#y’all can never take it from me now#my younger sibling and i were literally screaming with joy while we were watching it#the scene was a bit of a roller coaster but we came out on top in the end#we’re so back
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There are so many things I love about the new Obey Me event but THIS THISSSS
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FHSJFNKSKFJKAKF
The extra three HDJAJFNAJ LOOK AT HIM HHHHHHHHHH
He wants us to rely on him??? 🤧😭🤸♀️
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DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL
He clearly cares??? So like??? Are we opening some possibilities here? 🧐 PLEASE???
AND LOOK
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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SCREAMING LOOK AT HER
She's so sweet I love her so mUCH
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Can
Can we be best friends thirteen
Please
I'll do anything please
#I want to scream about so many things but this takes the top spot so into the abyss it goes#I also remembered to check the official youtube and was not dissapointed#Although why is levi after lucifer?#and not mammon?#threw me off a bit but its ok cause hes cute#really i just want to yell my thoughts at something#also why did asmo get robbed of his romantic moments again its terrible#obey me! swd#Obey Me!#thirteen#mephistopheles#raphael#obey me#obey me thirteen#obey me raphael#obey me mephistopheles#help i might pass out from pure excitement#the last event almost killed me solely because of solomons fish card#BUT NOW#HSJFJJAJNF#also what do you call these three#“side characters” taken#“undatables” taken#the side SIDE characters??#the extra sides#posts
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In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.
#it reminds me of that time in 'Alice' (NOT related as vis a vis takes place seasons BEFORE 'Alice') but when B'Elanna says Tom:#'practically assaulted me' Janeway's not taking it seriously at all she says 'that doesn't sound like Tom' and I was like CAPTAIN??? DEATH?#but again that has no bearing on this in-universe bc that hasn't happened yet. REALLY I'm screaming and crying about B'Elanna's self esteem#issues which Steth literally manifested the worst case scenario of#Tom's little gesture when he gets back also goes over so well bc of this in MY mind.#Tom wanting her and Tom being with her is something B'Elanna wants regardless of how he actually acts in their relationship#(as long as it isn't abusive). He rarely puts her first without prompting or complaining BUT...he's a handsome human guy who wants her to b#his girlfriend. Ostensibly. And that's a prize you wanna hold onto.#God I love B'Elanna............#did she tell ANYONE or did she just sit with that interaction alone???#her not telling anyone implies that she DIDN'T go 'hey that's not like Tom! I should inform the captain of this incident!'#and that KILLS me dude...she's not like 'Something's terribly wrong with Tom or maybe that's an imposter!' she's like 'Tom said/did that to#me.' SCREAMING. SCREAMING. TOM. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS /BAD/ WITH B'ELANNA.
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i wanted to do a whole sketch page of ted looking pathetic yet cunty but i veered into slug territory and couldn’t stop because he didnt look devastated enough
#basically how it went was like#*draws one slug just for funsies* well fuck this is terrible. he doesnt look like hes trying to scream#and i just kept going#i hope you can tell hes trying really hard to scream#ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#ihnmaims ted#great soft jelly thing#i have no gyatt and i must rizz#eli art
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Pretty sure my little man has a case of abundism affecting the marble tabby coat under all those white splotches
#random pet post#it really is a weird coat pattern#I'm never sure if I should describe him accurately as a white marked tabby or as the first impression people get of a black and white cat#love his little backward C's#I got all my other pets around the same time and they've been dying off one by one this last year or so#I'm down to just this 4yo kit and Bruiser#actually I'm not done whispering in the tags#pretty soon it's just gonna be me and this terrible little man against the world#and he gives me such weird problems you cannot even begin to imagine#took to the leash and harness without a bit of difficulty but I can't take him anywhere cuz he freaks out about people 500ft away#really difficult to find sitters for him cuz he gets so stressed about changes and waits until 3am to SCREAM#he's 17 lbs and wants to sleep on my chest 14 hours a day#took him on a work trip a week or 2 ago cuz of aforementioned petsitting troubles and some kind of wire got crossed#so instead of stress peeing in my laundry basket he now humps the nearest blanket covered limb to alert me of problems#he got scared of his water dish recently and is only now starting to get over it after 3 weeks of drama#he knocked it over last night and humped my leg while I tried to sleep to try and convey to me that he was thirsty#I'm thinking of getting a second cat and just fucking hoping that it'll be normal and maybe Prompto can target it for some of his weirdness
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this selena cover is the cd song ever of all time jysk :*
#bro i just KNOW this was the first song they played at that cd concert and it went HARD AS FUCK oh my GOD BRO HELL YA#rs bein nostalgic and doin 90s punkrock covers of all the songs in spanish tht sharon used to play around the house while she cooked#LIKE TODAVIA???? AYYYYYYYOOooo PERDEDOR??? MIS OJOS LLORAN POR TI???? BIIIITCH AZUCAR AMARGO??? AAaaAaA#incredible n iconic and i do think this was her favorite one </3#awwww askldhsk AAAAA screaming crying throwing up#anything for selenas mothafuccccccccccka anything for YOU mama! blowin a kiss up to heaven bitch OOOOOoooUCh#if i put rs in the emo grungy rockstar boy version of the iconic purple selena jumpsuit during the sp winter formal performance#at sp high? WHAAAAT THEEEEEEEEEN!!!! ATE DOOOWN#truly hot boy shit i am obsessed with him i love him so bad#also not the jerseykyle ravesey golddigging alleygations smh#like okay way to purport a jewish stereotype you dumb ass tmz paparazzi mothefuckers like i know my man was like#looking at those glasses like this is the nicest and most beautiful thing i have ever recieved and also go fuck yourself#i will not be bought you punk ass(less) bitch ( but also make his pockets hurt also fuck ur weird satantic rich boy money )#like i will pay you back...at some point...i hate them i hate you goodbye you have terrible taste...clearly...i just need to see#and i am a broke college student...so...whatever go fuck urself#like they're not the coolest thing hes ever seen and a staple part of his everyday y/n main character costume design#v annoying also that you can see a lot clearer ergo annoying cute boy is now prolly now cuter n that much more annoying#ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAYS RAVENSTAN SELENA NATION WE ARE SOOOO UP I FUCKING LOVE THIS COVER BRO#god i loved that cd concert people DIED that day ( or almost did rip jk ) ft the toxic cover of ever following it and mayb new perspective#the como la flor preformance later on? tru...ly...incredible. he really is the captain of hot boy shit he is the moment the movement#LOVE WINS BIIIIIIITCH ECO EMO LGBT RIGHTS BITCH#please know that an acoustic cd punk rock cover of ts' long live is the rm mtv show outro like when ur watching anime#and the episode is super trauamtic and horrifying and the outro song with the credits is nice n soft and ur like i am in pain#BUT LEEEEEEEEEETS GOOOOOOOO I KNOW CD BODIED THIS I KNOW RAVENSTAN TRANSBOY BODY ODY ODIED#not cart making him do really oversexualized preformances against his will...i will k*ll you when i catch u BITCH#i am sorry i will post writing soon can you tell i want to write chapter two like goddamnit chapter one u are taking so LOng#Spotify
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bumble wc is just a piece of writing from this series that TRULY astounds me. like the characters do not acknoledge that shes a living person whatsoever once she becomes a "nuisance" (she is fat and a house pet). and on top of that, to have turtle tail turn her back on her as well??>?? because gray wing has it bad for her and so we have to exterminate the "obstacle" in the way of their straight romance???
like i expect gray wing and clear sky to be dicks but..why would TURTLE TAIL rationally allow her friend (who lived through the same abuse as she) be shunned away from the moor group??
its some of the most mean spirited shit in this entire series and it only exists as a plotline...for what reason??? cause "kittypets are bad you dont want to be a kittypet"?? its not like you remind us every fucking arc erin hunter. because we're supposed to like gray wing and they really wanted him to serve as an adoptive parent to turtle's litter?? like..what???
i dont even have a real point to this post i just want to express my confusion cause what even was the goal. it does nothing but make the entire cast abuse-enabling discriminatory assholes who are willing to send outsiders to easily preventable deaths. and we're supposed to agree with these jackasses??? ERIN HUNTER WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY TO YOUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AUDIENCE???
#domestic abuse tw#abuse tw#wc#again no real point i was trying to make here#dotc as a whole floors me in how incompetent it is.#'oots is the worst arc' who??#the only one worst than dotc imo is tnp because thats where a lot of shitty trends in this series were created or exacerbated#like i can point at gray wing being a shitty sad boy protag but if i REALLY wanted to blame someone...tnp came first...#im sure if crow was made a pov he would also be as terrible as bramble in that arc#also tom getting a redemption death AFTER getting turtle tail killed is hilariously terrible.#like yeah we killed turtle tail off to service a male char's arc because shes a woman#but we chose to fridge bumble because she was a woman AND a kittypet. and fat.#shummy screaming into the void
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People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.
#ahahahaha anyways. ranty time in the tags wheeee#paranoia has been terrible today. everyones mood is off. everyones acting different. everyones acting colder. they hate me im sure of it#and all this stuff i want to be happy i just know is gonna be ruined or left with tainted memories now and its my fault#but maybe its not because why the fuck cant you be consistent. why is it so touch and go#i support ppl through the worst parts of their lives and when i need the support nobody is there#i will literally take time off work to be with someone if theyre having a hard time but me? cant even afford more than three words#im sick of being told i love you and finding no proof outside empty words. i sure as hell dont feel fucking loved. everyone is lying#it's just like my ex. he smothered me in love to cover up the major lack of actually viable love#empty words make me sick to my stomach now. everyones a fucking liar and i dont get why the wont just tell me the truth!#if im such a burden then just fucking say it! if im horrible to be around tell me! how am i supposed to every grow if nobody tells me#i just wanna be loved and not unconditionally. i want to be loved by choice. i want someone to choose me despite everything#i want someone to love me to every little detail and hold my hand even when im at my lowest and just UNDERSTAND#i want someone to love me wholeheartedly and think about me as much i do them. i want the little gestures and the sweet things i do#but here i am. always the one carrying everything and putting in all the effort. when was the last time someone really liked me.#when was the last time i existed in someone elses head. when was the last time someone cared enough to check on me. to do something?#this savior mentality is gonna kill me but im only being straightforward when i say i cannot pull myself from this alone. i am so weak#and god im fucking tired#spent at least two hours straight sobbing while regressed because even as a kid i cant outrun this#and im just getting sicker. i cant sleep. cant eat. cant stay warm. feel like im slowly fading away#and nobody even cares. its so fucking selfish and childish but my whole life ive screamed for help and nobody has seen me#do i have to become another number in the statistics for you to care? or would you even care when i die?#because at this rate i dont even need to try. my heart hasn't slowed in three days. i think i really am dying#sad thoughts#vent blog#sad blogging#vent#vent post#venting#actually mentally ill#actually traumatized
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people really don't like Nandor on here...he's literally my sweetie pie
#i swing between him and guillermo being my fav#like i kind of understand but also it feels like people have higher standards for his behaviour than they do the others???#need i remind eveyone laszlo turned a BABY into a vampire because he was “bored”#they are ALL terrible what did you expect#the handling of the marwa storyline was terrible I'll give you that#but idk maybe it's a mindset thing but I tend not to dislike characters for what were clearly faults on the part of the writers?#and people saying he doesn't deseve guillermo...#i mean kinda but that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable#plus guillermo is terrible TOO#I'm screaming into the void here i know it's really not that deep but#he deserves more love#nandor the relentless#wwdits
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Surprisingly, the David Beckham documentary is giving me a lot of thoughts about Dick. Some about Kory as well. Especially in regard to their public relationship.
#tbh i didn't realize how absolutely terrible people were to david beckham all because of that one match where he got red carded#he's got to get sick to his stomach anytime he hears boos. good god. how horrific people were to him#abusing him all over a game?? people are crazy#when he was talking about how his dad was really tough on him when he was growing up#and how his dad would make him do the same drills/shots over and over and over until it was perfect#it made me think of dick and bruce#i guess more specifically within the realm of lemire's depiction of bruce and dick in those early days#also the crazy behavior of the football fans toward beckham made me think of dick and kory when they were trying to get married#and people were pissed--screaming at dick and kory. throwing trash at their car. ''NO HUMAN/ALIEN MARRIAGES ALLOWED!''#''TITANS ARE DEVIANTS!!''#yeaaaah
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Sorry I screamed on your ask :( I saw it on Twitter I just had to run to your ask box to say that. It was so beautiful. And not just for Erik's Magnum but like the color was really pretty. The composition flows so well and the way you positioned the shadows add such sensuality. Just chef kiss. Also I love how thrilled Charles looks ajfjskfk and poor gambit.
Also for a second I forgot the common concession that Charles is a size queen 🤭🤭 Maybe wore pants that hug the contour of his dong wjfmdkgk.
Is it his hand pulling the pants low or is it just that heavy? 🤔 Charles would love to carry that d tho ahfkskfk
Thank you for the academic review of my lighting my friend LSSKSJA TBH working on my tablet makes me wanna eat gravel sometimes because when i post from there the colors will look so pale and desaturated on my laptop… like what is that …
#nsft#snap chats#the lighting was killing me for hours i have a higher-rendered ver but i dont like it really …#im very indecisive and i didnt know what mood i wanted….#anyway Let Charles Live His Life 2025 he might die from getting dicked down but hell be fine hes died before#highkey thoni was thinking about how i wish i contoured the pants better….#theyre tights so theyre meant to be tighter no idk why i went with that ..#i mean it aint TERRIBLE but yk. the lil things ill scream about for Ever#ill have more chances in the future to properly contour dick through tights but i can only post such things so mant times in so little time#i will have to keep those studies for myself … until like a week later idk dnPWSKSJ#ANYWYA IMA GO DRIVE I HATE DRIVING BYE
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#BringBackTagYappinMel2025
be careful what you wish for darling ray but ofc i will yap till the cows come home if u like 😘
#here i'll yap right now#i am currently rewatching the tudors (and it's awful i love it)#my history brain is screaming my mess brain is overjoyed#but i think mickey could get like#really into jousting asdlkjhf#not this show or anything there's far too much heterosexuality#maybe he takes liam to a renaissance fair and lives like a king for an afternoon#liam is taking notes on all the inaccuracies but mickey is thriving#shouting and hollering and chugging all the ale#absolutely delighted when someone falls off a horse#refuses to acknowledge that it's all staged nah someone's gonna get stabbed#liam takes a picture of him chowing down on a turkey leg and sends it to ian#immediate phone wallpaper ofc#wait.#no wait#medieval times#the best day of mickey's life askfdh#soup from a goblet he'll never go back#ian dares to bring him a *bowl* of cereal one day and mickey's like#🤨 where's my chalice bitch 🤨#anyways i have lost the plot here#point is i will yap even when the yapping is.... this#this show rly is terrible though#whew alright that is enough#ilyyyy raaaayyyyyyyyy#mel answers
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Finally decided to indulge in the Siuan/Moiraine meta I've been wanting to write for ages now, musing on the differences in psychology ensuing from their significantly different arcs within the book and show and why Siuan's actions at season 2's apex are entirely in psychological sync with her show portrayal, even if they swerve wildly from the books.
Let's start with some Siuan back-story context. In the books, Tear was undeniably an unfriendly city for those with the One Power. But that translated, in practical terms, to Aes Sedai keeping their stays there brief, and girls who could touch The Source being quickly bustled off to the Tower. There were no Aes Sedai advisers, as in other kingdoms etc., but neither was there the virulent hostility of the show.
Siuan left Tear quickly in the books—the first day she was discovered to have the Power, but only because a sister was traveling through and didn't wish to delay returning to The Tower for such pesky things as sentimental goodbyes. Was that harsh? Absolutely. But the world of the books is exceedingly harsh in some respects, giving girls little to no choice about becoming Sisters, should they be discovered harboring abilities. (Much of Nynaeve's back-story involved hiding her powers precisely because she didn't fancy being ripped from The Two Rivers.)
Siuan faces a much different harshness in the show. The show doesn't do a great job explaining this, but The Dragon's Fang, which is etched onto Siuan's door before her house is unceremoniously torched, is a sign of immense contempt for Dark Friends. Within show Tear, a wary mistrust of Aes Sedai has curdled into something much more dangerous. All use of The Power is suspect, because if men's half was tainted, there's nothing to say women won't go suddenly mad, too.
It's worth remembering as well here that book Siuan was roughly fifteen when she went to The Tower. Now, I'm totally blind, and audio description doesn't give me an age for tiny show-Siuan, but if she's anywhere near puberty, I'll eat my metaphorical hat. And instead of being shepherded to The Tower, she had to flee for her life.
In her family's only means of support, I might ad. Book Siuan was by no means well-to-do, but she was firmly in the middling ranks of the working poor. Show Siuan's family are on the fucking destitution brink y'all. And she took her father's livelihood. Dying destitute ain’t fuckin pretty.
Siuan is not a stupid kid, and she clearly adores the shit out of her papa. The first thing that little girl did the millisecond she got any privileges? Wrote to her papa.
And more than likely, Berden never wrote back. It wouldn't take her long to figure out what'd happened. Moiraine is at great pains to tell Alana Jenny was not "her" support dog, and we laugh it off as oh, look at Moiraine being all adorably prim. Which in one sense, it totally is. But I'd almost guarantee you there's a deeper layer there: it wasn't "hers"; it was "theirs" because once Siuan found out her beloved papa was dead, they both needed something to cuddle.
This may seem like somewhat of a digression, but I'm maundering on because in the books yes, Dark Friends are evil. But they're evil because they caused a terrible cataclysm many thousands of years ago that killed lots of people, and they wanna do it again. There's no personal skin in the game for our beloved ladies, except they get thrust into the job through a convergence of some very complicated circumstances—I'd recommend any show-only watchers read "New Spring" because while I love almost all the changes the show has made ferociously, the way Siuan and Moiraine undertake the search is vastly more plausible as presented by Jordan there.
For Siuan in the show, by contrast, Dark Friend has _very personal ramifications. Dark Friends caused the corrosive mistrust that got her papa _killed! And Moiraine, better than _anyone, knows how that broke her.
And she _knows full well she could be deposed simply for having a relationship with Moiraine. The sensible thing to keep all the awful people from committing terrible crimes that will reverberate down the centuries to impact a little girl just as she was impacted would be to keep both their noses clean. And yet, she loves Moiraine so much that she'll take that risk to maintain not only an alliance about Rand, but a romantic relationship which could, realistically, be discovered much more easily.
And now, Moiraine, the woman who parroted back her beloved father's words of farewell about how Siuan was as clever as a pike and strong as the tides seemingly willfully lied; seemingly became a _Dark _Friend. Even her admonition that Lanfear is "too strong" must bring up so many awful questions: just how long have they been working together for her to know that? Because from Siuan's perspective, what it looks like is Lanfear coming in, guns blazing, to save her accomplice, Moiraine.
When Siuan says that there are rules and they have to abide by them, it's reflecting profoundly deep fears—not only about what Rand could do, but the kind of hatred toward those with The Power it could foster. For twenty years, she's put those fears aside. And now it appears that her going against Tower Law has lost her Moiraine to the Forsaken, and made terrible outcomes nigh on inevitable. And people are really confused about why she looks beaten?
Hell, from her perspective, forget Lanfear's entrance. The very fact Moiraine seemingly lied to her and is now talking about love must seem such a cruel mockery: laughing at Siuan's weakness; just as, perhaps, she was laughing at her with that parting comment in The Tower: an Amyrlin Seat still so swayed by what her papa told her so many years ago. (Yeah, we know it was as close as she could come to an I love you, but how the hell is Siuan supposed to know that, given everything?) This was not willful emotional abuse on someone she knew to be acting in good faith, but a reaction to the person she loved enough to risk the fucking Amyrlin Seat for becoming a monster!
Do I wish they'd picked _any other direction for their relationship? Yes, yes I damn well do. There was plenty to play with for angst factor by having the coup go down as it does in the books: Moiraine not being there to save her when all Siuan wanted was more time together, for one thing. Moiraine needlessly obfuscating in front of Siuan and the other Sisters in S1, when Leandrin already knew! about the Two Rivers folk. Thinking she was being canny, when all she did was get herself pointlessly exiled so she couldn't protect Siuan? Quite enough of an angst sandwich, thanks ever so, without this new development. But! if they were going to include this, Siuan reacted precisely as I would expect her to, given the context I've outlined above, not in some madly ooc fashion worthy of the tags descending into emotional abuse discourse.
#Siuan Sanche#Moiraine Damodred#I kept hoping this Siuan is terribly abusive discourse would die down but I keep seeing it crop up and it's driving me utterly batshit#Wheel of Time#siuanraine#Moiraine x Siuan#Siuan x Moiraine#fishwives#(posting all this with the obvious caveat that if Rafe uses this to pull some massive bullshit whereby he brought out the queerness some#of us could see in fucking New Spring. because I am absolutely a fan for that long. even if RJ rest his soul tried to brush it off as#'pillow friends that faded out'only to get fucking cold feet and put them in their heterosexual weirdass nonrelationships with Gareth and#Thom (and look. I am really fond of show Thom; he still has no business getting up close and personal with Moiraine#unless she and Siuan decide on polyamory; Gareth was such an utter nonentity and isn't in the show I really have nothing to say. with legit#apologies to any Gareth fans subjected to my salty tags b/c I'm sure they exist and your tastes are also valid)#well. if Rafe. as an openly queer creator pulls a queer bait and switch I will lose my shit so spectacularly they'll hear my screaming#during shooting. but moral ambiguity. in and of itself. is not a bad thing! portrayals of how her early childhood trauma complicate her#dynamic with Moiraine when Moiraine lied! to her which she should have known better than to do#feel very inevitable after that intro we got in S1 is all I'm saying
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